Inspiration
For more inspiration, please visit my FB page:
https://www.facebook.com/youareenoughcounselling
or my Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/you_are_enough_counselling/
Embrace your inner child.
#somaticexperiencing
#youareenough
#youareenoughcounselling
"We often have to see and understand how and why our behavior is meeting some our needs before we can shift it and let it go for something that will ACTUALLY meet the need in a way that helps us live in intention & integrity.
We do what we do for a reason, and that reason isn't because we're inherently flawed.
Adding shame to the behaviour only makes it harder to shift, so instead begin creating a practice of giving yourself a break and compassion, find what's at the center of the behaviour and then perhaps it can help you create clarity around finding other ways to meet that need."
#somaticexperiencing
#somatic
#traumawork
#youareenough
#youareenoughcounselling
The aim is never to eliminate the Inner Critic (it's not possible and also not needed in my opinion), but rather to sit down with it and have a cup of tea.
To become friends.
I warmly recommend the use of Somatic Experiencing® which is a body-based, stress and trauma therapy method. With the help of SE we are able to develop your ability to self-regulate and widen your "it doesn't flip me out, I can contain it" zone, step by step.
#youareenough
#youareenoughcounselling
Embrace your inner child.
You are free to use it multiple times a day - if you like.
Especially if you are going through rough times.
There is good news too.
When we think of setting boundaries, we tend to think of setting boundaries with other people.
But some of the most important boundaries we will ever set are the ones we set with ourselves.
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What boundaries have you set with yourself?
If you experience any of these symptoms (or others) these days, don't be surprised.
Your body is having a normal reaction to trauma - to war.
Calm your nervous system with the help of SE (Somatic Experiencing) exercises for example.
You find resources here:
Slow down.
Listen.
Allow...
#youareenough
When you are feeling activated and interested to recalibrate your system, above are a few ideas to activate the parasympathetic nervous system + toning the vagus nerve.
The vagus nerve has been described as the most influential nerve in our parasympathetic nervous system. It functions like your body’s natural reset button. Learning how to stimulate your vagus nerve allows you to get ignite a sense of calm and relaxation.
Vagus means wandering in Latin. It is the longest nerve in the body and it influences heart rate, respiration, and digestion.
Which strategy speaks to you the most?
"When the nervous system doesn't get its dose of safety, regulation and connection from its early life interactions it becomes more primed toward self-protection and threat. Being in the body becomes an unsafe place to be.
Being who we are is a constant source of judgement.
No one taught us how to be with ourselves. This is something that the healing work teaches us. In a sense, healing is unlearning the old ways and learning to embody who we are for the first time. It is learning to be a conscious human for the first time.
When we gradually and constantly expose the nervous system to new experiences that signal safety, trust and connection, the nervous system will form new habits and patterns of response."
"Save this and use it once a day during your work week. 1 minute of self awareness can change your whole day/mood.
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Drop your shoulders down and back. We store a lot of tension here and added technology/phone use increases tension.
Move your neck side to side while you’re at it for an added relaxation bonus.
Our jaw is usually one of the first places we tense up. Cue TMJ and tension headaches.
Unclench your teeth and relax. Breathe. Relax more. Breathe again. Releasing your jaw will also help your hips relax.
Shake out your hands. Open and close them. Stretch your fingers. Along with technology use, tension and anxiety can manifest here. Shake them. Let all excess energy go.
When we get focused or have a lot of chronic stress/tension, we get tunnel vision. Move your eyes around. Side to side and up and down.
This helps prevent migraines and tension headaches.
Relaxing your tongue also helps to relax your jaw and face. Stick it out and exhale through the mouth! Tension manifests mostly subconscious here. We bite our tongues and hold back our words a lot. Relax. Let the stress flow out.
Take 3 deep breaths in and out of your belly. This is the fastest way to reconnect with your body and self. Notice a clearer mind and less tension almost immediately.
Hope this helps! It’s a daily practice I’ve been doing for years and is great for us all to get into a habit of.
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Pro tip: Set an alarm on your phone for 1 or 2 times per day and do them."
For your nervous system regulation, you can also use any breathing pattern where the exhalation is longer than the inhalation.
For example if you inhale for 3 counts, then exhale for 4 or 5 or even longer if you can. This will calm your nervous system and bring you into a more regulated state.
You may also try the so-called "square breathing" pattern: inhale for 4 counts - hold it for 4 counts - exhale for 4 counts - break for 4 counts.
You might want to imagine a square too, to help you counting.
Be well.
"Try to find a place in your body that feels easy to connect to, try to notice the sensations when you focus on this area, and when overwhelmed see if it can be a focal point or refuge to stay connected to your self.
The more you practice the more readily available these aspects of regulation become."
#selfregulation
#somaticexperiencing
#pause
Inner peace.
That no matter what is outside, around me, in the world, in my immediate environment, there can be peace inside. Inside me.
What I can do to reach this goal is to do inner work and meditate, pray, etc. - each and every one of us according to their own belief, taste or calling.
So let's meditate.
Or pray.
Or connect to nature – whatever brings you peace.
Let there be peace.
Inside.
I am slow, slower than most people.
Most things take longer for me.
I have been called sluggish and I don't mind.
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Because every little step I take, counts.
Every little step we take, counts.
Keep walking.
Breathe.
"One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul.
Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it."
Clarissa Pinkola Estés
(
: Pixabay)
"If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken yourself.
If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself.
Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation."
Lao Tzu
(: Snapwire)
If you haven't tried it yet, just take a few minutes, set a timer and sit down comfortably on a cushion or a chair.
Make sure your back is straight and close your eyes.
Choose a focus for your meditation - your breath, or your sensations for example. When you notice that your mind has wondered away, gently guide it back to its focus.
Again and again.
When your time is up, check in with yourself and see what has changed.
"We are powerful beyond measure, and so deeply vulnerable at the same time.This may seem like a dichotomy, but it isn’t.
We have misunderstood real power. It has been something assertive, non-surrendering, pushing on through. This is not real power. This is simply willfulness.
Real power is something else - receptivity, openness, the courage to keep your heart open on the darkest of days, the strength to feel it all even when the odds are stacked against you.
Real power is showing up with your heart on your sleeve and absolutely refusing to waste one moment of your life hidden behind edginess and armor."
Jeff Brown
(photo: Artem Podrez)
Just be.
Who are your teachers?
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❤️
We can work on it together if you would like to.
Let me know.
❤️
More compassionate, definitely.
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... how did it feel?
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Sometimes it's like that.
And that's OK.
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If you would like to talk about it, get in touch.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
❤️
Source: Seerut K. Chawla
It's all OK.
Even when it does not feel OK.
❤️
"The ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death.
When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions.
Their answers determined whether they were able to enter or not.
- Have you found joy in your life?
- Has your life brought joy to others?"
Morgan Freeman
(📷:
Quang Anh Ha Nguyen)
Healing is messy.
And that's OK.
❤️
(📷:
unknown)
Where do you go when you feel lost?
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"The forest, the labyrinth, the otherworld, the underworld, the sea and the depths of the sea are all poetic and symbolic descriptions of how we perceive the unconscious as a realm. It is where we are when we are lost, and it is where we need to go in order to find ourselves."
Jean Shinoda Bolen
(📷:
Pixabay)
"Laughter, song and dance create emotional and spiritual connection; they remind us of the one thing that truly matters when we are searching for comfort, celebration, inspiration, or healing: We are not alone."
Brené Brown
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photo: Flora Westbrook
Intentions for the coming year
• I will resist the desire to fix other people's problems.
• I will allow myself to relax without labelling myself as lazy or unproductive.
• I will make friends with the critical voice in my head.
• I will lean into my feelings, even when I feel uncomfortable.
• I will resist the temptation to take every interaction personal.
• I will accept compliments, positive feedback and praise.
• I will do my best to see people as they are, not as I would like them to be.
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•◦∙
Text source/
inspiration: Nedra Tawwab,
photo: Markus Spiske
Tips for the holidays
• Think about what is best for you and your family and do just that.
• Remember a loved one.
It can help to bring memories of loved ones into the celebrations.
You could include a visit to their grave or a place that was special to them.
• Look after yourself
The holidays can be a time of over-indulgence with food and alcohol.
Try to keep to your regular patterns of sleeping and eating.
Get out and enjoy the fresh air or exercise - it's a great way to relax.
• Take time for you
Don't be alarmed if your emotions take over, just take some time for yourself.
Keep plans flexible and allow yourself to change your mind.
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The holidays can be an intensely emotional time.
Be kind to yourself and ask for help if you need it.
❤️
Text source/ inspiration:
Cruse Bereavement Care, photo: Jessica Lewis
No one has it all together 100% of the time.
Cut yourself some slack.
Be your own best friend.
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photo: Lalesh Aldarwish
I posted this exactly a year ago.
It's good to remind myself again.
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How do you speak to yourself?
If you feel you owe yourself an apology, sit down and have a cup of tea with your Inner Critic.
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#innercritic
#howtoloveyourself
#howtolovemyself
#youareenough
#youareenoughcounselling
photo: Alexander Krivitskiy
There is a space and we can choose our response.
Or choose not to respond at all.
It's an immense possibility and freedom.
Use it.
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Never.
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Are you willing to take the risk to blossom?
The moment you start loving yourself.
Adjust.
Keep doing your thing.
Be you.
❤️
Take a walk today.
How long?
Start working on your "stuff".
It doesn't need to get ugly.
Adults friendships take some energy and attention to make them work.
Let your friends know when you think about them.
Don't give up.
Keep walking.
My version says "other beings", otherwise speaks from my heart.
What impresses you?
Enough.
A reminder for myself.
Even if it's really hard sometimes... it's always possible.
Create a joyful, cozy home for yourself.
Grateful for all of my friends.
Instead of bitching, let's praise each other Sisters.
If you admire something in another woman, let her know.
Let's support and raise each other.
I believe the future is female.
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I am willing, but it's damn hard!
Anyway, it's a good first step in the right direction to at least remind myself of it every time I get triggered.
I keep walking.
It often feels like nothing is changing.
We are not changing.
The same old sh*t every day.
However, the small steps and tiny changes do add up.
I like to look back from time to time to 1 or 5 years ago and make myself aware of how much has changed in me.
And as a result, in my life. In my relationship with myself and in my relationships.
If you're working on yourself, stop from time to time and take a good look at how far you've come.
And pat yourself on the shoulder for it.
You deserve it.
Totally.
"If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work but rather, teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea."
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Photo: Ricardo Esquivel
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Not only in spring.
Grow.
❤️
"Listening is the powerful, soothing agent of all communication.
Listening is the best tool there is to lower anxiety, diminish division, and open into sameness, into togetherness. Listening will help almost anyone who is triggered to calm down. The deeply beautiful and profound thirteenth-century Persian poet Rumi says: “Beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
Listening is a gateway into that open field."
from: The Zen of You and Me: A Guide to Getting Along with Just About Anyone by Diane Musho Hamilton Photo: Roberto Nickson
I woke up in a panic today, because I have more on my plate than usually.
Then I asked myself if this is really how I wish to spend my day today: running around like a headless chicken, worrying in advance how I will fit everything in. And my answer was: "No".
I wish to spend my day enjoying it (even if it's busier than usually). And it is a choice indeed.
To be aware of the fact though that you do have a choice takes some (inner) work in my experience.
So take the time to figure yourself out.
There is noise and trouble all right. And hard work to be done, sure.
But there is peace in my heart now.
It took some work to get here.
It always does.
Now and then we pause, take rest, but the journey goes on and on and on.
Today I feel strong, calm and ready to face challenges with a brave heart.
How about you?
True.
If we dig deeper, underneath anger we find pain.
We love to bitch and criticize each other, but there is a stage where you don't feel this urge of putting others down or competing anymore.
Because you are enough in yourself, for yourself.
You live the experience that your worth is not defined in comparison to others. And you don't become less just because others seem or feel to be doing well - in fact, exactly the opposite!
To get here takes some inner work in my experience. So come on girls, women, ladies - let's do the work! Let's appreciate and empower each other.
I love Harold.
Not only because he's a badass rebel, but because he is very much aware of his strengths.
And that takes some (inner) work.
Be like Harold.
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I have a tendency to want to take the whole mountain in one giant leap or do nothing at all.
So today I remind myself of the importance of small steps taken every day.
They took me a long way along my inner journey.
Make use of the lovely weather.
Reconnecting with nature will soothe your body and mind likewise.
Recharge.